nostalgia
- Oct 8, 2016
- 5 min read
For my first blog post, I feel that I should begin with something that gives an insight into the sort of person/writer I am and also something that ignites passion within myself. Therefore, I choose nostalgia. I have always loved the buzz of nostalgia, whether the memories be those I wish to remember or not; I simply love remembering and reminiscing. Certain smells, times of the year, a line in a song, photographs, or looking back on past works of mine.
I am currently studying English Literature in Bath, and what enabled me to study in such a beautiful city is, coincidentally, a work of mine, formally known as: my Personal Statement. However boring this may seem as a piece of literary work, I find myself reading back on it, roughly two years after I first wrote it when I was applying for university. Your personal statement should show off your passion for your degree-subject-to-be, and what a wonderful tool words are to use for a subject such as English Literature where you can example your writing style in four thousand characters or less.
At a time of the year in which students across the country are returning back to their schools and universities, I find myself feeling very nostalgic and looking back on my past memories from sixth form, and upon this, I logged into my UCAS account, and read through my personal statement. I feel it's important to look back on things you have created, as well as feelings you have had in the past, to notice how you have developed as a person so you can feel slightly fond of yourself. I am still proud to this day of my personal statement, which is fueled by the memories of the compliments I received from my peers who had read through it, as we liked to sit down and read through each others to gather insights into why we all wished to study a subject further and potentially gain a career through it.
I thoroughly enjoyed writing my personal statement, which is probably why I look back extremely dough eyed at it: young and inexperienced in the world, yet with a desire to read, write and analyse literature. My opening statement describes me as a fully rounded lover of essay writing, 'There came a point in my life in which I was fully able to understand the beauty of words in the written form and their critical meaning within the world; this was when I allowed myself to become empowered by English Literature'. A lot of people embellish their statements with carefully strung sentences which are, for want of a better word, a load of bollocks, however, I genuinely felt, and still feel this way and I can remember trying to construct a statement in which it did not tell a lie, yet aimed to tell the truth. I feel this statement was not a load of bollocks, because it does not state that I have always loved literature, because the truth is that I have not always loved it, yet only began to love it when I read and studied a very special book in my heart that ignited my passion.
When I was younger and even in my earlier years of secondary school, although I was a good reader, I did not enjoy reading, and to be honest I do not necessarily enjoy reading even now. I understand this is a strange thing to hear from a student of English Literature; but it is not the reading that makes me thrive, yet it is the studying of the story, the characters, the authors diction and the contextual motivations behind the literary work that makes me adore the subject. My main adoration of the subject is putting all these elements together in a carefully constructed essay as it honestly gives me a buzz to put my thoughts and analysis' into formally written work.
My initial love for this was when I was fifteen years old and my English teacher told our class to read Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë for our studies. I read the book whilst on holiday, and due to various distractions and my frequent inability to actually retain what I have just read on a single page of a book, I proceeded to watch the 1992 film adaptation starring Juliette Binoche and Ralph Fiennes. Reading and watching the story combined, was the very beginning of my passion for literature, and now when I pick up both the old tatty novel (which I 'accidentally' forgot to return to my school) and re-watch the film that I bought off Amazon for £2.99, my heart genuinely swells fondly.
My main attraction to this novel and story, as is many, is the relationship between Cathy and Heathcliff, as I made clear in my application to university, 'The fundamental story between the two stubborn lovers, Cathy and Heathcliff, and the way Brontë depicted this through words alone, opened my mind to how engulfing literature can be.'. I have continued to love the dynamic between the two characters as they are both feisty, stubborn, yet despite how they treated each other, they most certainly were entirely wrapped up in their feelings of angst-y love for one another. It has been a continuum for me that I seek pleasure from the way an author constructs their literature in terms of diction and structure. I example in my personal statement that, 'I find myself craving enriching stories that I can begin finding connotations of words authors have decided to use and potential hidden meanings, ultimately delving into the lives of the characters' worlds.'.
Upon looking back on my personal statement two years later and having studied English Literature for a full year now at university level, I notice the complexity of my sentences that definitely could have been simplified. For example I wrote, 'Literature does not hold a restricted realm, and pleasurably can behold complex ideas that are completely opposite to one another, yet, neither is more powerful comparatively.'. There are a lot of words in this sentence that perhaps could have been written more simply, yet something about this sentence still makes me admire myself in that I could come up with something so complex. Yet it is true, literature does not have to be restricted in any way and can express complexities, as it is simply the authors creation. And whilst in modern day there is a lot more freedom regarding what publishers are willing to publish, an author still holds that control within their novel, morphing creations that I adore.
It is safe to say that I am a very nostalgic person and I love looking back on things, so writing this blog post has made me feel very warm inside indeed. I love being reminded of my love for my degree subject and why I wanted to study it in the first place, and it also allows you to witness your progress as a person, as well as criticise your past decisions.
Nostalgia is an odd concept that allows you to look back, as well as encouraging you to move forward, and it is my favourite feeling in the world.
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